About Last Night

WWE Raw 07/31/17: Burn It Down

by John Gawarecki-Maxwell | August 02, 2017

Rollins gets dumb vocals as the long and boring road to SummerSlam continues.

About Last Night is a quick reflection on the matches and segments, or random observations, from a wrestling show that sticks out to us the morning after we watch them. If you would like to get your comments featured, chime in below in our comments section or tweet us. You can also help support us on Patreon.

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About the State of Seth Rollins...

Holy shit you guys, Raw Tag Team Champions Sheamus and Cesaro are not only alive but were allowed back on television to get in Seth Rollins' face about shattering Dean Ambrose's heart level down to 15%. This led to a singles match between Rollins and Sheamus whose sole purpose was to create a justification for Ambrose and Rollins to team up again and challenge the champs for their titles. But never mind that, we need to talk about Seth Rollins' new theme.

So I guess Seth Rollins "setting Triple H on fire" during his WrestleMania entrance was less a cool visual and more a statement of Rollins' new character. WWE's really leaning into the "burning down the old gods" motif with Rollins lately between that and the WWE 2K18 trailer where he literally commits arson. Now Rollins' entrance theme has a man screaming "burn it down" in the intro. It's really stupid and cheesy in a way that I appreciate, but I really don't understand their timing. I'm sure WWE thinks it sounds cool and I get what they're going for, but having your babyface constantly referencing burning things without explaining what that metaphor means to him makes him sound more like a pyro than a reliable hero. The whole thing comes across as another instance of WWE trying to make Rollins likable and then undermining it with how they portray him.

Anyway, this is all going to lead to Rollins and Ambrose probably becoming the tag champs at SummerSlam, so get excited for that. Or don't. I don't really care.


About the Continuing Adventures of Jason Jordan and his Cool New Dad...

The current story with Jason Jordan being Kurt Angle's illegitimate son is one that could previously be described as "pointless" and "unnecessary." After this week's Miz TV segment, you can add "ruinous" to that list of adjectives.

As you can figure, this week featured The Miz and The Miztourage hosted another of Miz's trademark annoying and self-aggrandizing interview segments, this time with Joran in the hot seat. Miz offered Jordan a spot in The Miztourage, an offered Jordan refused in the kind of polite but firm fashion only pure babyfaces do; Jordan even, at one point, used the tried-and-true line of the fans are going to cheer and boo whomever they want and that's okay. It makes sense that they would go with writing Jordan as that kind of sterling "All American Boy" babyface they arguably don't write often enough these days, but this segment ends up making the case for why that archetype rarely works anymore. Jordan responded to Miz's accusations of using his dad's position to get opportunities by discussing how he wants to forge his own legacy outside of his famous lineage, but when Miz retorts by ragging on Kurt Angle, Jordan literally replies that Miz can say whatever he wants about him, but to leave his father out of things. It's yet another reminder that Jordan's character has been given no further thought than merely being Kurt Angle's son, as if being "related" to a famous person and possessing an archetypal hero's traits equate to a personality.

It seems like the endpoint of all this is Jordan challenging The Miz for his Intercontinental Championship at SummerSlam, which is somehow both a no-brainer and a terrible idea. If Jordan is given the Intercontinental Championship match solely based on this interaction, doesn't that suggest that Miz's accusations of nepotism were right? Arguably the least damaging way to give Jordan the match would be to have Jordan overcome some extreme challenge from Kurt Angle in a showy attempt to not play favorites with his son, but that raises the question of who else would even be in the running for the Intercontinental Championship? It's a division of two people. This will all most likely end in Jordan getting the match from beating Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas in a handicap match and I'll continue not to care.


About Bad Segment Placement...

Last night's Raw featured a triple threat match between three of the four competitors in SummerSlam's fatal 4-way for the Universal Championship, a match that Kurt Angle rightfully called "pay-per-view worthy" at the top of the show. That match happened towards the end of the second hour. The main event was yet another match between Big Show and Big Cass, which was short and once again ended in nonsense when Cass won on disqualification after Enzo jumped him. Maybe I just don't understand how television works, but what the fuck? Why would you waste your main event slot, the show's "big finish" on undercard crap that makes no one look good? It's especially baffling when that triple threat match was well done, its lack of necessity withstanding. Why not save your best for last?


The Raw Rapid Fire Round-Up:

And now, the section where we quickly run down the parts of Raw that don't warrant their own section. (Admittedly, that's most of the show.)

Remember how Nia Jax eviscerated Emma last week in a squash match? This week Nia lost to Bayley by count out after Alexa Bliss got involved. Doesn't everyone in this division look great?

The Hardy Boyz had a rematch with Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson while The Revival hung out on commentary. Then they all fought after the Hardys got their win back. I guess this will lead to some kind of triple threat? I don't know, but I definitely don't care.

Cruiserweights still exist, shockingly.

Elias Samson is now "Elias" for some terrible reason. He beat Kalisto, a guy who loses even when he wins.

Bray Wyatt and Finn Balor are still doing this. Please no.

And finally, where the fuck is Goldust? We haven't seen him in weeks! This show is the worst.

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What did you think of this week's Raw? Let us know in the comments!



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